Matt Okula is still processing the last four months, which began with the most painful moment of his life — losing his wife, Hailey, on the very same day they welcomed their first child. In a recent Instagram video, Matt opened up about what he called the hardest, most emotional, and confusing time of his life. On March 29, Hailey — known online as “Nurse Hailey” — died suddenly after experiencing childbirth complications. Just minutes after their son Crew was born by cesarean section, Hailey went into cardiac arrest due to an amniotic fluid embolism. She lived in Los Angeles, California and was 33 years old.

“Everything that I knew about my life changed,” Matt said. “I lost my wife, Hailey Okula, the love of my life, my best friend, the person I built a life with for the last 12 years and essentially my entire adult life.” At the same time, their son Crew was born, making him both a father and a widower in one moment. He shared this on Hailey’s nursing-focused community page, @RNNewGrads, where she had spent years connecting with nurses and sharing her journey in medicine and motherhood.

Trying to Navigate the Aftermath

Hailey Okula and Matt Okula
Hailey with husband, Matt before the birth of their child, Crew.

Matt admitted he’s still learning how to grieve and how to heal. “Some days are completely debilitating,” he said. “Some days I feel like I’m just surviving hour by hour, and some days I feel those little small pieces of peace.” There’s no straight path forward, but he’s showing up every day for his son and for the community Hailey built.

Hailey had become a trusted voice among aspiring nurses, regularly sharing content through @RNNewGrads. She also documented her long and emotional fertility journey, opening up about her experience with IVF. Her honesty struck a chord with her followers, growing her audience to over 425,000 people by the time of her passing. Her posts weren’t just informative — they were deeply personal.

Matt Okula Wasn’t Sure About Sharing at First

Although Matt supported Hailey’s passion for her platform, he wasn’t always comfortable with how much she wanted to share. “I still laugh when I think about it,” he said in the video. “We had a long talk about whether to share that we were gonna be doing IVF.” He originally wanted to hold back, thinking it might be too personal, but Hailey believed in being transparent — not just for herself, but to help others.

She didn’t wait. “The very next day I went to work at the fire station, and I look at my phone, and she posted it,” Matt recalled. She had already shared that they were going through IVF, opening up about their struggles and the process. That was who Hailey was — open, brave, and unapologetically real. She wasn’t trying to be performative. She just knew that someone else out there needed to hear it.

Carrying Her Voice Forward

Now, Matt is doing what he can to keep Hailey’s voice alive. He plans to continue posting on @RNNewGrads — not only to keep her legacy going, but to release the content she had created during her pregnancy and never got the chance to share. “I’m going to do my best to share the journey honestly,” he said. “You won’t just see highlights, and you won’t just see the grief. You’ll see both, because both are real.”

Matt knows it won’t be easy. But by leading with the same openness Hailey was known for, he hopes to stay true to what she built. “As hard as it’s gonna be, I’m gonna do my best to lead with transparency the same way that Hailey always did,” he said through tears. For those still following, it’s not just about remembering Hailey — it’s about continuing the conversation she started.

For broader context on the risks of maternal health complications, see this NPR article on maternal mortality and how families like the Okulas are far from alone in their experience.